Monday, September 13, 2010

How to Properly Hunt Squirrels

    Hello readers, last night I set out upon a little scouting expedition. I wandered into my favorite part of the woods where I often squirrel hunt. Immediately a squirrel popped up and no more than two minutes later, three raccoons wandered by, within two feet of where I stood. They stopped only to casually sniff at me, then meandered onwards. Another squirrel defended his domain from high up on a tree from the imminent danger of the impeding white tail deer which grazed below by chattering out an incessant ruckus and flitting his tail non-stop.
    Even as the odd mosquito buzzed into my ear, or bit my forehead, I still smiled to myself. Squirrel Season is here again, starting on the fifteenth! If having sighted in my two trusty squirrel guns, four times over the last month, wasn't sign enough the changing weather surely indicates that the season to begin harvesting these bushy-tails is upon us yet again.

Here are several tips to help make your squirrel hunting more enjoyable this season!

  1. Don't take yourself too seriously. This is imperative, as most hunters tend to take themselves far too seriously. Loosen up, Davy Crockett! Be sure to pack your old Gameboy Pocket and/or a good paper back novel. Go find a good sitting tree in the middle of a hardwood forest, and have a sit. While away the hours by playing Pokemon, or reading the latest novel you want to get to. The squirrels aren't that picky, they really don't mind what you're reading. Plus, if you're anal enough to think that reading or playing a game will impede your hunting prowess, then get lost! It's all about having a good time so read a little, look for squirrels, read some more, shoot a squirrel. Repeat.
  2. Enjoy the outdoors. Sometimes squirrel hunting involves a little sitting, so follow rule number one to relieve boredom. Rule number two, to put a smile on your face, is to just enjoy being outdoors! Who cares if you see a squirrel or not, smell the changing season, watch the oaks drop their leaves. Smile as you feel yourself surrounded by the simple things in life. Then kill a squirrel.
  3. Put skill back in to hunting. With the invention of rifles with optics good enough to make 600 yard kill shots on white tail, compound bows with their ridiculous sights and fancy do-dads, and legalization of the rocket-launching-rifle-like-crossbows for all people, things in the hunting world have really gone down hill. Now, I'm a fan of a high powered rifle, they're fun! But when you just sit in a factory made tent, wanking it to the latest Hustler and waiting for the deer to walk by so you can blast its brains out... we've got problems. Hunters no longer have true talent, anybody can pick up a crossbow, compound, or rifle and shoot to kill with it. I'm not saying it doesn't take skill to do these things, I'm just saying that modern hunting lacks a lot of the essential sportsman qualities. Us squirrel hunters have to put the skill back in! Try to avoid shotguns, they make it too easy. Try taking only head shots, or only one shot kills with the rimfire.
  4. Keep a sharp knife. If you shoot the squirrel, you damn well better use what you've killed. So keep that knife sharp to make it easier to skin the animal. Also, don't forget the plastic bag to put the meat in when you're field dressing! If you haven't tried cleaning the squirrel as soon as you shoot it, give it a try. The animal is much more flexible and easy to skin the sooner you get to it!
  5. Don't poach. Bag your legal limit, and call it good! I know you think it's cool to rebel against the governments laws, but don't do it. Number one, you're risking running across a C.O. and losing your license, gun, driver's license, and getting fined. Number two, you're being a bitch. The squirrels need to repopulate, and it's not like you need to kill them to ensure your own personal survival. This is your hobby, respect the animals, the environment, your rifle, and yourself and it'll be a good time all around.

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